The Dirt

So I feel weird talking about me since this blog is about my little girl but isn't the purpose of a blog to be open and candid?! So the dirt on me is that my high school sweet heart and I were dating for three years and we decided to get married. We had a quickly planned wedding because he had just gotten out of boot camp. Well a year after being married we decided it was time to have a baby. We got pregnant shortly after trying and well you know the story 9 months later we had a baby girl. Unfortunately our marriage wasn't as happy as I had pretended it was. Two months after we had baby E, I got a call that he wanted a divorce. My first thought was WHAT?? This beautiful baby we just brought into the world is now going to be another statistic of a failed young marriage. Well the following year came: a 5 month Deployment for him, the fast growing of E came and went, my ups and downs of our "separation", and continued pain he caused me resulted in me filing for a Divorce. After a year of me struggling to make it work for my baby, and realizing why am I trying to save a marriage of betrayal and lies to a man that it is not the man I married? So here we are today a little over two years since his dreadful phone call to me and I'm at peace.

Now don't get me wrong EVERYTHING about a Divorce is hard. Not one thing about it is simple or easy. I miss him everyday...the old him that is.  I dream about the image of the family we were supposed to be.  In my mind I go through the what if's and try to figure out what went wrong.  I'll never have the answers.  All I know is that I couldn't be married anymore to the man that he had become. I know it was the healthiest decision for my daughter and I. And I've never regretted it since.